She's Not A Whore

The affair between Jezebel and Il Duce... I can't tell you how long it had been going on. Well over a year, but probably less than two.

About a year ago, he brought a large contingent of the European team to our head office out here on the east coast, ostensibly for team meetings with some of us North American staff, but really it was because one of their Brit friends was getting married to a Yank out here and they wanted to attend the wedding. About five of them. (Great use of company funds, don't you think?) We held our meetings as a matter of course anyway to keep up appearances.

Il Duce and Jezebel were often found walking together off on their own, sharing a quiet conversation. They were frequently the last to arrive from the hotel in the morning or the first to leave in the evening. They aroused a certain amount of suspicion. I also noticed Il Duce touching her in ways that just felt inappropriate: little pats on the small of her back or a caress on her shoulder. That was when I began to suspect.

Some months later, they took a trip to Madrid together to recruit a new employee. They took along one of my own managers (who was completely unneeded for the purposes of that visit) just so it wouldn't appear too conspicuous: the two of them jetting off to Spain, unchaperoned as it were.

When I did Jezebel's review last year (she had only been working for me for a few months, so I didn't have much to say) Il Duce told me to give her an above average score. At the time, I didn't think much of it. She is a hard worker and is well liked. Her previous manager (Renfield) said she deserved it, too, so I went ahead. In retrospect, though, I can see how incredibly inappropriate it was for Il Duce to issue such a directive.

What has really gotten my goat, however, is his attempts to promote her, especially into a position that doesn't even exist.

I have held the same title for six years, and in that time my responsibilities have doubled. He has never tried to promote me and has denied me when I have asked.

I have a manager working for me (the same one whom he was trying to promote Jezebel above earlier) who has worked in his position for almost as long as I have, who has also seen his area of responsibility double since the teams merged. I would like to promote him. Il Duce has denied this, too.

Prodigal, who should have gotten full credit for all of the good work the new team has done, wasn't even considered for that new management position. I suspect this is one of the reasons he wanted to come back to my team.

"What do you have to do to get a promotion out of [Il Duce]," Prodigal asked me. I thought of Jezebel and wondered.

When Il Duce told me to give Jezebel an above average rating on her review, he told me to give her a four (which is: "exceeds expectations") out of five ("greatly exceeds expectations"). Penelope asked me at the time: "What does she have to do to get a five? Swallow instead of spit?" (Penelope has always had a way with words.)

Another of Penelope's witticisms regarding this situation: when finding out that Jezebel was sleeping her way into a promotion that (thus far) hasn't paid off, she said, "I don't think she's a whore. Whores at least get paid." If Jezebel is in this for a promotion, she's been waiting for well over a year to get it.

Coming up next... I propose mutiny.